Parenting manuals conveniently leave out certain developmental stages. Fynn has entered one of them over the last week, and being the caring individual that I am, I’d like to prepare all you parents of younger children out there to be on the lookout for it.

Developmental Age: 8 years, 11 months

Developmental Stage: Recognizes and uses words with plural and dichotomous meanings.

Example: Starts calling her cousin “Peter” instead of “Aaren” (his real name, btw) for no apparent reason. When I ask her why she’s calling him “Peter”, she just giggles and says they’re just playing around. Incidentally, this exchange was preceded by a questioning session regarding the naming of the “Dick’s Sporting Goods” store near us, in which it was explained that “Dick” is a nickname for “Richard” and there was massive giggling as she said, “So DICK is just a name? Right?” over and over.

In addition, I was asked the following question, verbatim, a few days ago:

What are those two ball thingies in a sac hanging from Jasper’s* wiener?

I can only deduce that there has been some speculation surrounding male genitalia in her immediate circle of influence, either at school or in the neighborhood.  Little pervs.  I’m probably going to get a call from the school any day now chastising me because Fynn was regaling everyone with tales of “Peter & Harry Testicles”.

* Jasper is my sister’s stud dog, in case you were wondering.