I’ve decided to have these words tattooed on Fynn’s forehead on her 13th birthday. That way no boys will want anything to do with her and I won’t have to worry about things like boys with cars kissing my daughter in the garage after a bonfire and then getting her pregnant and ruining her life before she has a chance to get into an Ivy League school and bankrupt me so that she can graduate and get a 6 figure income and support me in my old age because jeebus knows all that money I paid into social security isn’t coming back.